Is there ever a good time to visit a dementia ward, well yes maybe today, whilst visiting today, a patient in the neighbouring bed was displaying signs of anxiety, pacing up and down and asking if she could place a load of washing in our bed, nursing staff were very patient and understanding, finding ways to pacify and placate, I had a moment where waiting outside of the curtain while nursing staff attended to their bed pan duties of the patient I was visiting.
This was the opportunity, we were neither on first name terms nor did we have any need to converse but quite directly and also to me, she asked where had the orangery gone? Not being nursing staff, I said that I was new on shift and had not seen it on the way in or indeed believed it not to be in this room. I dId however ask if she liked gardening? In that instance all the lights went on, and her reply…. ‘’I love my garden’’, my reply of my wife next door visiting her mum, being my head gardener started the conversation, then a moment passed being just 20 mins where we talked of what we enjoyed to grow, haw we both detested aubergines and their soapy texture, the sweetness of cherry tomatoes and there being nothing like a green gauge picked ripe from the tree.
You see there is no right or wrong way to start a conversation, however there are some times where starting one should be the most important thing you can do, for those 20 mins of my time meant that someone could be back in the room with purpose for 20 mins, of their otherwise lonely place, there was no anger or frustration, just 20 mins of common conversation of just the simple common interest of gardening.
Dementia is new to me, but we must all look for chances to connect. The added bonus is that Sue’s Mum has a lovely garden so there is now a common interest between both patients.
